Quarantine Day 1 Minute by Minute Updates of an Extraordinarily Busy Lady

I am extremely grateful that I live in a state that recognized that schools are a breeding ground for germs and closed us down for the next two weeks. In the meantime, I’ll be staying at home, except for walks outside (don’t worry – I live in an area where no one takes walks outside so social isolation is easy). I thought it would be amusing to do a play by play of how my first day of quarantine went. Read on ya’ll!

8:30am – Wake up startled that I’m late for my first period class. Calm the feck down and lay in bed for a while.

9:10am – Haul myself downstairs (hauling is not an understatement – I am 27 weeks pregnant). Greet darling husband, who happens to work from home. After a few minutes, he exclaims that “this is going to be a long two weeks.”

9:30am – Wrestle my duvet into the duvet cover. Have to take several breaks because my heart rate is too high. Have a thought that a duvet stuffing class would make an excellent cardio class. Will come back to this idea when the crisis is over.

9:40am – Realize I’d be a terrible housewife.

10:00am – Finish folding the laundry that I’ve been putting off folding for the last three weeks and feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. (See thoughts from 9:40am).

10:30am – Eat some dope breakfast tacos (shout out to Siete for making those yummy grain-free tortillas) and finish reading Fooled by Randomness by Nassim Taleb. I feel like a God damn scholar. Decide that after the quarantine, I will come out much more intelligent.

11:00am – Sit down to get some work done. Procrastinate by Googling “coronavirus.” Learn nothing new.

11:30am – Actually start working. At this point, I am convinced that I would not only be a terrible housewife, but also a terrible WFH employee.

11:35am – Get distracted from work and start writing this blog out.

11:45am – Get back to work.

12:30pm – After a solid 45 minutes of intense work, I take a break to watch the new Bert Kreischer special. Laugh a lot. You should go watch it.

1:30pm – Decide to go take a nap.

1:31pm – Decide that before I take said nap, I should eat a bowl of oatmeal so as to sleep better, like a baby.

1:35pm – Eat a bowl of oatmeal, with some bananas and a spoonful of peanut butter. Say “yum”! Whilst eating, the mail arrives, including a massive bag of maternity clothes. Realize I will not have to wear real clothing for at least several weeks.

2:00pm – Take my well deserved nap.

3:00pm – Wake up from nap and go for a leisurely 2-mile walk with my husband. Get spooked by how quiet the neighborhood is.

4:00pm – Do a light workout with kettlebells. Before doing so, read the news that I obsessively refresh. 55 new cases of coronavirus in Illinois, and the first death.

4:30pm – After exerting so much energy today, decide to make dinner. Tonight is super fancy – kale a la chicken nuggets. Leave my pregnant taste buds alone bruh.

5:00pm – Sit down to watch an episode of Sex Education, while eating my super fancy dinner.

6:00pm – Actually sit down to do some work for the first time all day. Get confused about how so much time has passed, and so little productivity has happened.

7:30pm – Get ready for bed. Yes, I start to get ready for bed between 7:30 and 8:00pm. I like sleep. A LOT.

And that, folks, is how my first day of quarantine went.

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